2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing by Robert Orben

By Robert Orben

There is not any larger, swifter, or greater approach to succeed in out and seize an audience's consciousness than the adroit use of humor. An apt, well-timed funny story can soothe the antagonistic, concentration the fed up, and the spur at the enthusiastic.

In this newest assortment from Robert Orben, grasp of the one-liner and fountain of humor for the nice television and stand-up comics, are accrued over 2500 brief, suitable, and sharp laugh-getters which could simply be further to speeches, lectures, displays, or informal dialog. prepared into a number of hundred different types for ease in choice, the subject material is topical--ranging from acupuncture and pollution to women's liberation and X-rated video clips. many of the jokes are one-liners that circulation with a snap and a sizzle that anecdotes and long tales lack.

Here you'll find openings and closings for speeches, plus random and particular remark worthy to an individual who has ever been referred to as upon to "say a couple of words." a wonderful device for audio system, writers, and performers, Mr. Orben's most up-to-date ebook also will offer hours of laugh-filled analyzing for everyone.

Note from the uploader: those jokes aren't humorous.

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Additional resources for 2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing

Example text

Mme. Pernelle You are a four-letter . . fool. I’m your grandmother and I should know. I’ve told your father a hundred times that you act like a good-for-nothing and that you’ll never be more than a nuisance to him. Mariane I think . . Mme. Pernelle Now, now, Mademoiselle, you may act discreetly and seem meek and well behaved, but “still waters run deep,” as they say. I know you’re simply covering up unsavory behavior. Elmire But Mother . . Mme. Pernelle Daughter-in-Law, your conduct, if I may say so, is perfectly shocking.

Their hostility and fanaticism—much good may it do them—are all the more dangerous because they use our own holy weapons against us. We see these liars all too often, and yet it’s easy to recognize those who are truly devout. There are splendid examples these days, dear brother: look at Ariston, Périandre, Oronte, Alcidamas, Polydore, Clitandre—no one doubts what they are. They don’t parade their virtue; they’re not ostentatious; their piety is on a human scale—it’s sober, well balanced. They’re not constantly censuring what we do: they think it’s arrogance to condemn others.

Cléante There’s no obstacle, I imagine, to keeping your promise. Orgon As you say. 0 LPI MoliereTartuffe-00Bk Page 20 Wednesday, July 23, 2008 10:25 AM Act I, scene 5 Cléante Is it so difficult to go ahead with it? Valère asked me to speak to you about it. Orgon Heaven be praised! Cléante But what shall I tell him? Orgon Whatever you like. Cléante But we need to know your plans. What are they? Orgon To do as Heaven demands. Cléante Let’s talk frankly. Valère has your promise; will you keep it or not?

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